How to persuade your loved one to buy you a bike
Published 18 December 2012
It’s not too late. But if you’re still hoping Father Christmas will leave you a new bike under the tree, there’s no sense in leaving it to chance. We’ve got a few helpful tips to make sure it happens...
1. Plant the seed
Dropping hints is the perfect way to get started. Stick a prominently-placed post-it note by the model of your choice in your favourite bike shop catalogue. Or accidentally-on-purpose leave that gorgeous hybrid bike you’ve got your eye on on your laptop – it’s just the beginning of your cunning plan.
2. Guilt trip
The object of this tactic is to make the potential gift-buyer subtly aware of the misery that is bound to ensue unless you get the bike of your dreams this Christmas. ‘I hear Dave / Jemima is getting a new bike...’ sets the tone. Follow up with a classic ‘If only I had a bike I could get fit / explore more / save a fortune on petrol / go on a Sky Ride Local [delete as appropriate]’. Add an unhappy face and wait for the magic to start working...
3. Paint an aspirational picture
If complaining about the present situation hasn’t worked, try painting a picture of how the future could be. ‘Just think, we could go on lovely bike rides together...’ Throw in some pub lunches, idyllic afternoons, picnics, exercise, adventure, a tan, or whatever is most likely to persuade your loved one that the future on two wheels is most definitely bright. Alternatively, if the prospect of seeing less of you is appealing (‘just think of all the football you can watch while I'm off riding my bike’), don't hesitate.
4. Subliminal tactics
If nothing else has worked, you may need to try something a little off-beat. In the middle of a shopping trip, engage your loved one in deep, meaningful conversation, and then casually walk into your favourite bike shop. Before they know where they are, you’ll both be standing in front of the object of your dreams. Hopefully all you’ll need to do is coo appreciatively in the direction of the wheels.
5. Good old-fashioned bribery
If all else fails, bribery could be your last resort. This could be the positive kind (‘I’ll get you a bike next year’ or ‘I’ll mow the lawn for a month’) or the, ahem, less positive (‘I’ll tell your friends you’re a terrible scrooge’).
Good luck, and fingers crossed!
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